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When it’s dark & intense, what to do

Following the link Dealing With Intense Feelings, I found a wonderful blog, written by Ruzica Kozul, Life Coach. She speaks a language I love, and I already subscribed both to her newsletter, and to get the blog updates to my mail (it’s possible through FeedBurner, you can subscribe, too: Subscribe to Ruzica Kozul, Life Coach by Email).

She finished the post with a question, how we would handle intense feelings, so I went and added mine. I’ll repost it with some additions here:

1. EFT, especially useful. I sometimes do focus wheel together with it – not writing the statements, but doing the EFT tapping, saying the statements out loud. But the traditional technique, offered by Nick Ortner and the divine Jessica Ortner (she so knows which sentences to give there!), is also really helpful. Here’s their stress relief CD download.

2. There’s a wonderful Kevin Shoeninger’s Core Energy Technique.

3. There’s saying things in general: “I have a situation. I have thoughts. I have feelings.”

4. My focus delights, starting with the general, and then maybe choosing more specific.

5. The 3-3-3 technique.

It also reminded me what I wrote in the Bonus Chapter to my first book, about money and Law of Attraction, here you can read it:

Bonus Chapter #1 – How To Deal With The Old Stuff – When It’s Dark, What Are You Doing?


“…when walls close in, skies turn gray, and dreams seem like they’re awfully far away, you’re probably just forgetting that the same “hands” that created the sun, the moon and the stars, are still holding yours, anxious to help.

I simply adore you –

     The Universe.” – Mike Dooley

I love you, my reader. I want you to have a fascinating sailing towards achieving whatever your soul desires. And if you ever feel doubts, sadness or fears, I’d like to wrap you in a blanket of love and understanding, telling you you CAN get there! You CAN be all you want to be, I believe in you!


When you feel any doubts, please just hold on. It will pass and you will return to the moments of joy and happiness, and all your goals will be waiting for you right there.


The following points have helped me to get through tough times, I hope they will do the same for you should you ever need them.


Some of them are different ways to see what’s happening, see what speaks more to your heart in each situation:


1. Nothing is really bad, we just don’t know the perspective:

"There are only miracles, – and to one degree or another they all soothe, pamper and enrich. However, to avoid blowing too many minds at once, some are disguised as unpleasant surprises, botched circumstances, and twisted acquaintances that can rarely been seen for what or who they truly are until the pendulum has fully swung.

So if something still hurts, baffles or confuses, it only means a miracle has occurred, the pendulum is mid-swing, and that soon you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
     The Universe." – Mike Dooley

2. Remember just how powerful you are:

“Every thought you think sends waves into motion.
Every word you speak reaches millions of ears.
And every act you perform literally rearranges the stars.
Now, dear… what was it you wanted me to do for you?
    The Universe” – Mike Dooley

3. The opinion of others is just that, an opinion of other people. Don’t let them dishearten you. (And maybe think: is there a part of you that says the same? Then probably healing that part of you would heal the situation…)

4. Notice how you feel and try to recall if you had such feelings before. That may prove to you your manifesting power; you could feel that things are after all under your control.

5. Ignore it, sometimes it’s the easiest way to get through.

6. Use your pain as your ally: try to understand where it’s coming from. Maybe these are just wrong beliefs you can intellectually fix at the current point. Maybe it was brought onto you at this point in your life because now you can release it.

7. There’s nothing to be guarded against (so nothing to fear):

“Resistance is about believing that you are vulnerable or susceptible to something not wanted and holding a stance of protection, which only holds you in a place of not letting in the Well-being that would be there otherwise. There is nothing big enough to protect you from unwanted things — and there are no unwanted things big enough to get into your experience.” – Abraham-Hicks

8. See what little thing you can do right now to make your heart sing, even for a moment!

9. If the circumstances make you think you were insane starting it at all :), remember:

“Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible.” – Maurits Cornelis Escher

10. Sometimes it’s just reordering you into another level:

“The human brain is the ultimate open system, constantly exchanging energy with its environment. Up to a point, the system can handle all kinds of fluctuations. But if the input becomes too much, the system is pushed past its limits and the system reorganises itself at a higher order. A runner, for instance, gives more physical input to his body than it can handle, and it responds by reorganizing itself at a higher level that can handle this increased input which we call “getting in shape”.” – Bill Harris

11. Hold on to the better stuff coming:

“How we create is like gigantic wheel that’s turning; and all the things we thought and felt three weeks ago are slowly coming into place. …So when you start changing your thinking pattern, all the stuff you have on this wheel is still coming your way. But you are sticking new wonderful experiences on this wheel and the wheel is slowly turning around. …We make the biggest change in our lives, when we have the worst stuff coming off that wheel…

Then we start practicing things, but all this crap that that we were thinking, …is still coming at us from this wheel. So we play around with it for a week, couple of things go better, we feel a little better, but at the same time we are practicing something new, that takes an enormous amount of energy, concentration and focus! Now at the same time we have all this other garbage coming at us, which also takes a lot of energy. So you can see the situation, how difficult it is to really continue on and get out of it. Most people kind of go along and then they get tired and they let go.

Now by that time better stuff is already coming off that wheel again. But by that time most of us have quit because we were just too busy struggling with all the stuff that was coming.

It actually doesn’t quit, it just keeps going. It just becomes easier once you understand it. Because, you see, there is no limit to how happy we can be!” – Klaus Joehle

12. Focus on miracles: think which miracle would save the situation. Which miracle would make the situation worth it? Can you allow it to come?

Klaus Joehle says, things may happen, but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to feel the bad feelings. “It’s already there – so why bother?” Just try to focus on the imagined good feelings instead. [Klaus’s method of sending love is of a great help here.]


Just remember that you’re loved; open your heart…

“As you let go of the crap around you, it will let go of you, but you have to let go first.” – Klaus Joehle

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