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I thought after such an effort at night (to finish doing all I felt I better be finishing then) I would feel like wanting to do nothing now, like I felt on day 2, but no, instead I feel like.. grown up. Like in the end of an exam session in the University, when I was feeling I can learn so much more now!
Maybe the difference is in a stage: a stage of a chaos in the system, or a stage when it went to the higher order. Bill Harris explained these stages:
“Dissipative structures flourish in unstable, fluctuating environments by
being plastic enough to handle the variations and changes in such
environments. The more ordered and complex a system becomes, the more
entropy it must dissipate in order to maintain its existence. Conversely,
each system has an upper limit, due to its level of complexity, of how much
entropy it can dissipate. This is a key point. If the fluctuations from the
environment increase beyond that limit, the system, unable to disperse
enough entropy into its environment, begins to become internally more
entropic, or chaotic.If the excessive fluctuations continue, the chaos eventually becomes so
great that the system begins to break down until finally a point is reached
where the slightest nudge can bring the whole system grinding to a halt.This point, which Prigogine called a bifurcation point — bifurcate means
to divide into two branches — is a decision point, a moment of truth.
Either the system totally breaks down and ceases to exist as an organized
system or it spontaneously reorders itself in an entirely new way.
Incredibly, this reorganization is non-causal and non-linear with what
went before — it is in no way predictable from prior conditions. Only the
probability of a certain outcome can be determined. The change is a true
quantum leap, a death and re-birth, and the main characteristic of the new
system is that it has the capability to handle the fluctuations, the input
from the environment, that caused the initial overwhelm and eventual
break-down of the old system. In Prigogine’s words, the system “escapes
into a higher order.”Out of chaos comes a new order, a more evolved system. This new system has
a new stability and is able to more easily exist in the previously
overwhelming high fluctuation environment. But if fluctuations increase
again to a level beyond the system’s new and higher capacity for dispersion
of entropy, the process will repeat, resulting in new internal chaos and
another reorganization at a new and yet more evolved level.The human brain is the ultimate dissipative structure, constantly taking in
energy and matter from the environment, constantly dispersing entropy. We
are able to handle amazing amounts of fluctuation from the environment,
encountering all kinds of new ideas, stimuli, and events, handling them
without threat to the system.But if fluctuations reach a certain critical point, different for each
individual, we begin to feel overwhelmed and become less and less able to
deal with increased environmental input. Eventually, the system (our mental
construct of “what is”) is forced either to break down or to reorganize at
a higher, more evolved level. The process goes something like this: first
things make sense; then, as chaos increases, they no longer make sense any
more; finally, after reorganization, they make sense again, but in a whole
new way, never before imagined.It is easy to see from the foregoing discussion that certain types of
people will be more likely to reach this “moment of truth” — what Abraham
Maslow called “peak experience” — and give themselves the chance of
“escaping into a higher order.” Those who constantly open themselves to new
ideas and experiences and who are not afraid of feeling a bit overwhelmed
once in a while are more likely to have this type of peak experience and
are therefore more likely to evolve.”
So I’m probably in a higher order now. I do feel like I am capable for more now. Great! :)
In the beginning it felt like writing, quickly, without editing, and I was doubting, if I ever want to stop, go back and edit, ever. And here I am wanting to edit more than to write something new, and what’s delicious for me now, is to write the details of what was only given as a trail, a trajectory, to give it a flesh, to get the juicy details in it, to milk it for more taste, for richer taste.
And I couldn’t see it coming.
It reminds me of Bashar’s “trusting the highest excitement”, about that girl who didn’t always want to do the cleaning for her animals:
(“Bashar – Trusting Your Joy”: video)
It also reminds me the Hero’s Journey in it all: because it’s a journey, and also because I remember that special part of the Hero’s Journey, “just before the dawn”, when it seems the darkest and the goal achievement seems absolutely impossible. And then it does come. Like my editing. :)
It’s a delicious home to be in, my writing, my communicating with the book, being in this space. I’m glad I’m here.
And here’s a video that explained to me why I was intuitively rejecting counting the words:
(“Abraham Hicks 2015 – It’s all about the energy and the energy leads to action”: video)
Taking score!! This is what counting words is! One more confirmation that it’s good (for me) to listen inside. :)
P.S. I’m writing it at the end of the day. Two editings (I mean, in two books) are done. But what I felt in the beginning of the day, that I’m ready – I felt it only when I wasn’t really approaching to do the physical stuff. The physical took me again, releasing it, agreeing, that I do nothing today.
Then 3am, I was called in. Feeling fulfilled now, letting myself speak, in a way that is approved by me now.
I’m in, but I’m officially a “rebel” – got this term from the wonderful Laura Roberts’ book I recently accidentally got, A Cheater’s Guide to NaNoWriMo: Tips, Tricks and Hacks for Winning This November (Write Better Books Book 1): I’m subscribed to a newsletter of free book promotions on Amazon, since I had my books submitted there, and this book appeared there.
I didn’t even know at the time of getting this book I want to participate :)
But all the appearing details, all was contributing to this my desire to participate.
Especially Laura’s book, which from a perceivedly rigid notion of pursuing the goal of 50000 words in a month, and writing a novel (and I write non-fiction) – took it to an event I can take on my terms, thinking what’s best for me.
And I defined my goal as finding this place of writing where I can freely say what I have to say. This is the month of Freedom in this sense. :)
And I see that my writing changed already:
I wrote today to the music of my precious Fragrance of Dark Coffee:
(“Godot – The Fragrance Of Dark Coffee – Rain + Fire Ambiance”: video)
Here is a longer version.
And (not “but”, by Bashar!) I also created yesterday a playlist on YouTube, including many clips on Writing – mostly from Abraham-Hicks, very inspiring! You’re welcome to use it:
To a question “My toddler drives me crazy and throws me out of alignment every day despite best efforts. Where am I going wrong?”, my answer:
I agree with @Stingray.. and disagree :)
I agree about doing the processes that align you, and I myself have the whole book about that “Unhurtable” ..even process, rather than notion.
I disagree about “giving buttons” and “becoming unhurtable forever”. Same as I disagree about looking for reasons of your situation. Because all that moves your focus away from just aligning and finding Your answers using Your inner GPS, Your inner guidance.
How about – this is just a stream, one of those you consist of (as each your desire forms one), and you’re just in the stage of it being expanded (by itself, for life’s and your sake) and not yet harmonized (by you).
(In projection to what AH teach, similar to step one and step three.)
So all you need to (want to) do is just seeking relief in every moment you feel not in harmony. Seeking relief by looking for a thought that lets you feel better in the situation you’re in.
As AH say, “Don’t seek improvement, don’t seek solution, just seek relief.”
What will happen, it will change your state in the stream, you might be even able to enjoy that same situation! And then the whole situation will change, as the every-moment-updated expression of your energy, of the ratio of harmonization in this your stream of this specific desire.
And you will be able to live in the current moment, not trying to solve the situation forever, just harmonizing in your every moment in the stream you find the most touching you then, or at all.
Why I disagree with looking for reasons – as AH say, “it’s a bottomless pit”. In every situation you will look for the “reasons” in that situation, when actually the “reason” is one: the pre-harmony (I prefer this title) in a great, exciting, satisfying stream of one of your deliciousest desires, found this way to express itself. That’s it. When you harmonize, it will find the way to express the harmony.
Why I disagree with “giving buttons” – because it looks blaming you and, more important, making you try to solve this “weakness”. Instead of harmonizing and praising your sensitivity in Feedback about your Emotional stance and your beliefs. When you align, it will become observable and rather simple.
And why I disagree with “seeking becoming unhurtable forever” – because you have a life to live, many lives to live, and your streams will expand, yielding for you new heights of happiness, – but in the beginning, when they expand, the pre-harmony will be finding its way to express itself, and you may spend a life in trying to “wrestle it to the ground and kill it, forever”, or you may just seek relief – the simplest, surest way to harmonize, and live currently, presently, enjoyingly, in every newly coming moment.
Be happy. :) You have all the reasons to.
By the way, you could take “Where am I going wrong?” as the first thought you will find a thought that feel better, from. I would probably recommend you not to go for big processes, at least at first, as they may too resemble “wrestling it to the ground and killing it forever”, trying to fix the situation in order to feel better, I would recommend simple small steps, like here. Good feeling to you. :)
“When you find that unconditional place of utterly allowing alignment with the Energy that Creates Worlds… ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!
But we don’t want you to accomplish this so that you can change the condition – although it will – we want you to find this because… Ah! Love feels so much better right NOW than hopeless… so much better, right NOW. Life is NOW and NOW and NOW and NOW. It’s not later. It’s not later. It wasn’t before. It’s not next. It’s NOW. Right NOW, you can resonate with the fullness of who you are or not. That’s all. Good to know, isn’t it?” ~ AH
Finding Balance Rampage
“There is more POWER in “Isn’t that pretty?” than there is in “I’ve set goals and I’m going to make it happen and I’m really good at this and I know what to do and I’m gonna get out there and things are gonna work out for me”. There’s much more POWER in
“Isn’t that beautiful?”
Look how that is working out for me
Look how a good place I’m in
I’m so happy about what I’ve put in my Vortex and
I know it will eventually come to me in perfect timing and
I’m not too worried about the timing
I’m gonna let it come when it comes and
I know my work is just relaxing and allowing it to reveal itself to me because of my readiness, and
I now understand that my readiness is what really matters, and
My readiness is about focusing in a place that allows me ease
It’s like creating from the inside out
It’s a focusing upon conditions already in my control
My bed is so soft and my pillow is so good, and
The temperature in my room is just right, and
The sun is gonna come up in the morning and,
The moon is in the sky tonight, and
My planet is spinning in its orbit, and
The water is moving around the planet, and
The wellbeing is evident when I look for it, and
There’s so much going well not just for me, but for all of us, so much going well, and
I like knowing that I am the creator of my own reality, and
I’m getting better at it all the time, and
I don’t have anything to prove to anybody, and
Everything that I want is because I will feel better in the experiencing of it
But I like knowing that I’m an extension of Source Energy, and
I’m happy here in this contrasting environment, and
I’m eager to carve out what I want, and
I believe that my Vortex is full of those choices and,
I can’t think about them all at once without getting out of balance but I don’t have to.
I trust that they’re there,
I’m just gonna generally accept that they’re there, and
I know in the subject of my body and the subject of my home and the subject of my relationships and the subject of my finances and the subject of my life that I’m basically in a place of wellbeing, and
I’m eager for Law of Attraction to bring more and more evidence of that wellbeing, and I like the evidences that come.
Oh, I love the momentum.
And now I understand that my work is to get it straight in the beginning and as the momentum comes, it’s pleasing
I’m willing to stay here as long as it takes to get it vibrationally straight for me
I’m willing to get up 15 minutes earlier to get off on the right foot because I accept that when I slumber momentum stops and that I can start anew.
Sort of like when someone walks up to you and hands you a pile of books that is 20 feet tall and they were steady and handed it to you. Well, you’re probably not gonna be ready for that right away. You’re probably not going to be ready for that, but if someone handed you a book and then handed you another one, and then handed you another one, and then handed you another one and you just keep getting your balance, and you just keep getting your balance, and you just keep getting your balance, it might get up there pretty good.
You see where we are getting at?
So, you want to find your balance early on and you can; and then Law of Attraction will just keep bringing you another piece that’s in balance and another piece that’s in balance and another piece that’s in balance, until you’re so in balance that it doesn’t matter what anybody brings you, it won’t set you out of balance because you’ve established you balance, you see…”
Abraham Hicks, Albuquerque, March 22nd, 2014