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Day 4 in NaNoWriMo :: it comes by itself

I thought after such an effort at night (to finish doing all I felt I better be finishing then) I would feel like wanting to do nothing now, like I felt on day 2, but no, instead I feel like.. grown up. Like in the end of an exam session in the University, when I was feeling I can learn so much more now!

Maybe the difference is in a stage: a stage of a chaos in the system, or a stage when it went to the higher order. Bill Harris explained these stages:

“Dissipative structures flourish in unstable, fluctuating environments by
being plastic enough to handle the variations and changes in such
environments. The more ordered and complex a system becomes, the more
entropy it must dissipate in order to maintain its existence. Conversely,
each system has an upper limit, due to its level of complexity, of how much
entropy it can dissipate. This is a key point. If the fluctuations from the
environment increase beyond that limit, the system, unable to disperse
enough entropy into its environment, begins to become internally more
entropic, or chaotic.

If the excessive fluctuations continue, the chaos eventually becomes so
great that the system begins to break down until finally a point is reached
where the slightest nudge can bring the whole system grinding to a halt.

This point, which Prigogine called a bifurcation point — bifurcate means
to divide into two branches — is a decision point, a moment of truth.
Either the system totally breaks down and ceases to exist as an organized
system or it spontaneously reorders itself in an entirely new way.
Incredibly, this reorganization is non-causal and non-linear with what
went before — it is in no way predictable from prior conditions. Only the
probability of a certain outcome can be determined. The change is a true
quantum leap, a death and re-birth, and the main characteristic of the new
system is that it has the capability to handle the fluctuations, the input
from the environment, that caused the initial overwhelm and eventual
break-down of the old system. In Prigogine’s words, the system “escapes
into a higher order.”

Out of chaos comes a new order, a more evolved system. This new system has
a new stability and is able to more easily exist in the previously
overwhelming high fluctuation environment. But if fluctuations increase
again to a level beyond the system’s new and higher capacity for dispersion
of entropy, the process will repeat, resulting in new internal chaos and
another reorganization at a new and yet more evolved level.

The human brain is the ultimate dissipative structure, constantly taking in
energy and matter from the environment, constantly dispersing entropy. We
are able to handle amazing amounts of fluctuation from the environment,
encountering all kinds of new ideas, stimuli, and events, handling them
without threat to the system.

But if fluctuations reach a certain critical point, different for each
individual, we begin to feel overwhelmed and become less and less able to
deal with increased environmental input. Eventually, the system (our mental
construct of “what is”) is forced either to break down or to reorganize at
a higher, more evolved level. The process goes something like this: first
things make sense; then, as chaos increases, they no longer make sense any
more; finally, after reorganization, they make sense again, but in a whole
new way, never before imagined.

It is easy to see from the foregoing discussion that certain types of
people will be more likely to reach this “moment of truth” — what Abraham
Maslow called “peak experience” — and give themselves the chance of
“escaping into a higher order.” Those who constantly open themselves to new
ideas and experiences and who are not afraid of feeling a bit overwhelmed
once in a while are more likely to have this type of peak experience and
are therefore more likely to evolve.”

So I’m probably in a higher order now. I do feel like I am capable for more now. Great! :)

In the beginning it felt like writing, quickly, without editing, and I was doubting, if I ever want to stop, go back and edit, ever. And here I am wanting to edit more than to write something new, and what’s delicious for me now, is to write the details of what was only given as a trail, a trajectory, to give it a flesh, to get the juicy details in it, to milk it for more taste, for richer taste.

And I couldn’t see it coming.

It reminds me of Bashar’s “trusting the highest excitement”, about that girl who didn’t always want to do the cleaning for her animals:


(“Bashar – Trusting Your Joy”: video)

It also reminds me the Hero’s Journey in it all: because it’s a journey, and also because I remember that special part of the Hero’s Journey, “just before the dawn”, when it seems the darkest and the goal achievement seems absolutely impossible. And then it does come. Like my editing. :)

It’s a delicious home to be in, my writing, my communicating with the book, being in this space. I’m glad I’m here.

And here’s a video that explained to me why I was intuitively rejecting counting the words:


(“Abraham Hicks 2015 – It’s all about the energy and the energy leads to action”: video)

Taking score!! This is what counting words is! One more confirmation that it’s good (for me) to listen inside. :)

P.S. I’m writing it at the end of the day. Two editings (I mean, in two books) are done. But what I felt in the beginning of the day, that I’m ready – I felt it only when I wasn’t really approaching to do the physical stuff. The physical took me again, releasing it, agreeing, that I do nothing today.

Then 3am, I was called in. Feeling fulfilled now, letting myself speak, in a way that is approved by me now.

Answers :: How to handle a challenging situation?

To a question “My toddler drives me crazy and throws me out of alignment every day despite best efforts. Where am I going wrong?”, my answer:

I agree with @Stingray.. and disagree :)

I agree about doing the processes that align you, and I myself have the whole book about that “Unhurtable” ..even process, rather than notion.

I disagree about “giving buttons” and “becoming unhurtable forever”. Same as I disagree about looking for reasons of your situation. Because all that moves your focus away from just aligning and finding Your answers using Your inner GPS, Your inner guidance.

How about – this is just a stream, one of those you consist of (as each your desire forms one), and you’re just in the stage of it being expanded (by itself, for life’s and your sake) and not yet harmonized (by you).

(In projection to what AH teach, similar to step one and step three.)

So all you need to (want to) do is just seeking relief in every moment you feel not in harmony. Seeking relief by looking for a thought that lets you feel better in the situation you’re in.

As AH say, “Don’t seek improvement, don’t seek solution, just seek relief.”

What will happen, it will change your state in the stream, you might be even able to enjoy that same situation! And then the whole situation will change, as the every-moment-updated expression of your energy, of the ratio of harmonization in this your stream of this specific desire.

And you will be able to live in the current moment, not trying to solve the situation forever, just harmonizing in your every moment in the stream you find the most touching you then, or at all.

Why I disagree with looking for reasons – as AH say, “it’s a bottomless pit”. In every situation you will look for the “reasons” in that situation, when actually the “reason” is one: the pre-harmony (I prefer this title) in a great, exciting, satisfying stream of one of your deliciousest desires, found this way to express itself. That’s it. When you harmonize, it will find the way to express the harmony.

Why I disagree with “giving buttons” – because it looks blaming you and, more important, making you try to solve this “weakness”. Instead of harmonizing and praising your sensitivity in Feedback about your Emotional stance and your beliefs. When you align, it will become observable and rather simple.

And why I disagree with “seeking becoming unhurtable forever” – because you have a life to live, many lives to live, and your streams will expand, yielding for you new heights of happiness, – but in the beginning, when they expand, the pre-harmony will be finding its way to express itself, and you may spend a life in trying to “wrestle it to the ground and kill it, forever”, or you may just seek relief – the simplest, surest way to harmonize, and live currently, presently, enjoyingly, in every newly coming moment.

Be happy. :) You have all the reasons to.

By the way, you could take “Where am I going wrong?” as the first thought you will find a thought that feel better, from. I would probably recommend you not to go for big processes, at least at first, as they may too resemble “wrestling it to the ground and killing it forever”, trying to fix the situation in order to feel better, I would recommend simple small steps, like here. Good feeling to you. :)

What if

all happening is always only a springboard?

p.s. from the post revelation I was reminded of below,

“it’s how you use it.
And that’s why we simply say, circumstances don’t matter – not to discount them,
but to let you know it’s what meaning you decide to give them,
that determines, what effect you can extract from them.” ~ Bashar

Life is smart :) wise & caring.

So that’s why people meet :)

Listening now to Bashar’s “Tools for 2015-2016”. Long time ago I already heard from him, that location is a characteristic of an object’s vibration. That was exciting, and now one tip added to it – he says (speaking about a physical experiment), when an object A takes on a vibration of object B, it then takes on the vibration of its location, too, and so it starts moving in the direction of object B, until it comes to it and finds its rest place there.

Kind of explains how people meet :)

“Follow your excitement” ~ Bashar

When I say it as “Follow your alignment”, then I think I finally understand what he means.

Factor “O” and Factor “I”

A little inspirational something to share – a chapter in a book I’m writing, that helps me tremendously ♥ :)

One day I was sitting in some office, waiting for someone to come to a decision on something that felt important to me.

I was nervous. Then I caught myself being nervous and I realized, that it was about me feeling, how much influence their decision would have on me.

I paid attention that it felt bad, and I started to look for a thought that would feel better.

Practicing the vibrational work a lot, I already knew, that I could not (at least not immediately) simply ignore what would happen.

But then I thought: “Okay, it will only be factor ‘O'” – this thought just popped into my mind all by itself, and I understood to myself, that “O” surely meant “Outside” – meaning, that this circumstance will be a factor in how I feel, at least in the beginning, but there will also be another factor – factor “I”, “Inside”.

I loved this thought and realized, that it will always be a proportion between those two factors at work within me: how much I let the outer circumstances influence the way I feel, vs. how I work it out vibrationally, so that I could feel good “unconditionally”, as AH call it.

I immediately thought of adding these factors to this book, and thought that I should make it clear that factor “O” was the letter “O”, not zero. But then I thought, that actually factor “O” looks like 0 (zero), and factor “I” like 1 (one), which is also so nice and descriptive: depending on the circumstances, on the conditions is like a vibrational zero, and being aligned from inside, having the full energy desire and being the Source (I love it more than connection with Source) is absolutely one, One even. How perfect, isn’t it? :)

I wrote in my notebook, while waiting:

“I’m worried about the condition, as if it will be the one that will define my experience. While it can only be a factor “O”, while I have factor “I”, too, and it is an important one, too. At least.

It’s not the ultimate “it won’t matter”, it’s not my “my experience is only defined vibrationally, so it won’t matter, what will happen physically – it will always express my vibration, which I can work on”, but this is the beginning.

And if I’m afraid, there’s more [vibrational] work to do = more power to acquire.”

Later I realized, that “O” can also be seen as “outer”, “others”, and “I” as me! Meaning then is becoming more clarified to me having Me to have my opinion on the situation, to respond by choice, not with a default reaction.

* Someone said that responsible is “response-able”. :)

* Eloheim & The Councils formulate the fourth level (if I’m correct) as “I’m taking responsibility for my reaction to my creation.”

“Opinions” vs. “I”, my saying, my decision of perception. Perfect image, isn’t it? As everything that comes on aligning. :)

..My mind later couldn’t stop, bringing me more and more ideas of the associated words. And it was a nice game to have. Very supportive, building, inducing realization.

“Ornery”, “outlined”, “obedient”, “objective”, “observing” (conditions), “obsolete”, “overvalued”, “occasional”, “overwhelment” vs. “inspired”, “instinctive”, “Inner Being”, “invincible”, “ideal” (in the Vortex meaning), “intent”, “ignition”, “imagination”, “immortal”, “important”, “improvement”, “improvisation” etc. What’s yours?

Summary: Factor “O” and factor “I” – a convenient image/model to remember, to align quicker and feel better.

Practical exercise, based on new understanding: If it’s fun, you can see in your streams the proportion of these two factors, and the influence of which one of them (if at all) you would want to increase.

Question to think: What could be a simple, easy, lovely way to increase the influence of factor “I”?

For me it could be finding a soothing thought, a relief. “What if it’s not THAT bad?” or something like this.

Interesting, that when I did my 3ct later, after “What if it’s not THAT bad?” I added: “And even if it is, I still have my factor “I” in addition. Meaning, I won’t be absolutely helpless in this situation, I will still have my factor “I” with me.” And it felt good. :)

Interesting.. (on associations)

Listening to Tony Robbins’ “Personal Power” now (it’s a part of “Get the Edge”), I hear him talking about the associations and how they’re key to everything – if we don’t act on something, or don’t like something, that means we have pain associations with it, and if we act and/or like, we have a pleasure association.

He even mentioned something I never associated (pun intended :)) this way before: he said, that in concentration camps, people were looking for a sense, and those who found the sense in all that was happening, could continue to live. So Tony said, “sense” is just an association we have with something: if it makes sense to us, we have a pleasure association, and vice versa.

So is the sense in life?..

So it all reminded (associated :)) to me three things:

1) Bashar’s “all things, all events are neutral.” And our “perception” is our association, isn’t it?

2) High Flying Disc (HFD, by Abraham state of high energy) – don’t we then rise to HFD when we have a pleasure association with some subject? And we’re on LFD when we have a pain association with it. So a way to rise vibrationally, is to find some pleasure associations with the subject at hand.

Actually, Abraham speaks about it all the time – “get on the HFD and then..,” “distract yourself in something pleasurable and then..” – I just never saw it in this association light.

3) Sometimes we find it hard to believe in something if it doesn’t make sense to us – even if it does feel good, but doesn’t feel “true.” Could we possibly work with our associations on that subject then, in order to find ourselves able to believe what would actually serve us better?

Food for thought. :)

Life in Cooperation

Yesterday, I saw this TED talk:


(“Yves Morieux: As work gets more complex, 6 rules to simplify”: video)

and I find, that it so speaks to me in terms of the vibrational play: first of all, knowing, what every part does. What the physical part of me does, and what the Source does. This feels very structuring and relaxing the tension. “Reward the cooperation,” etc. Made me think and feel tending to life in this cooperation mode.

This quote feels like more of it:

“Life caused you to put it in your vibrational reality,
and so it’s already amassed.

Everything that anyone lives,
was vibrational first.
And so, the vibrational reality that is amassing,
you’ve already put all of the components there.
It’s already done.

And so, when you offer a process like a focus wheel,
or when you do some scripting,
or when you rampage appreciation,
or when you make a list of positive aspects,
that exercise isn’t doing the creating.

That exercise is putting you in a place that allows you in the Vortex,
where what is already created, is.

So that you have the full view of it,
so that you can now see, what’s in there.” ~ AH

So sweet :)

In my recent aligning I paid attention, that when I write a program, I tend to take every aspect that I don’t know (yet), how to implement, as “I suck, I’m a failure, I know nothing.”

Now in my recent new-style programming, when I align, and then let the alignment express itself through new code, me riding the wave, – I said, okay, I tend to take it so, but I can also say: it’s an opening question, to which the new alignment will bring beautiful answers. It felt so much better!

So I started to call these “I don’t know how in the world it can be implemented at all!” – preview, thumbnails of what will be given to me in the new alignment.

And now I’m listening to an EC workshop, back 2 years ago, and suddenly hear there: “it’s the new level’s invitation being revealed.” What a beautiful wording! What a sweet reply :) cooperative rendezvouzing at its bestest :) ♥ Woohoo!! :) I love my life, so much. :) ♥

Doubt and desire

“Doubt is almost the most debilitating of all those emotions,
because it is the opposite of desire.

Doubt cannot even exist unless you have a desire that you’re countering.
You have to really want something before doubt is even a factor.
If you don’t want anything,
then not expecting it isn’t a problem.

Many would say, “just stop saying, that you want it,
and then not having it won’t bother you.”
But there’s no regression from a desire.

You can’t pull it back,
so you’ve got to align your habit of thought with it.

You want to talk that doubt down
because you want to feel good.

If you want something
that you can’t see any viable action,
easy to apply method in order to bring it about,
then it’s logical that there would be doubt.

And what we’re saying to anyone about anything, is that
if you have a desire within you,
you have the ability to achieve that desire,
provided you are able to release enough resistance,
that Universal forces can carve out the way to make that happen.

If you have a desire that is really strong,
you may have some doubts,
but if your desire is really strong,
it overrides.” ~ AH